‘Me’ Time

John had told me he would be working from the office today so I was looking forward to having the place to myself and some time to write. He didn’t go. Even worse? He had an online training session so was bellowing at the screen for several hours. So much for peace. As he finally […]

Christmas Time and Everything’s Just Fine…

I love Christmas. I love spending time with my family, seeing the children get excited over presents – I love the togetherness of it all. But in those early years I started to dread it. Initially I would speak about what we were doing for Christmas at the start of December – just so it […]

Heavy Heart

The next day I really felt the weight of it all. It was tough. My son had not been well, so he clambered into bed with me around 1.30am. I sent him back to bed after a little while (anyone with a three year old knows they can’t keep still). He reappeared just after 2am […]

THAT CONVERSATION

It was back in September last year that I decided to bite the bullet and speak to John. There was no point dragging it out – in fact it was unfair. It was a Sunday and he had come round early in the day to get some things for his photography job. When he got […]

Framily

John and I have a mutual friend. He started out as John’s friend but has been one of the few who ‘crossed over’ and made me his friend too when John and I married. This friend – let’s call him Mark – has listened to and advised both John and me. He doesn’t judge or […]

Taking Responsibility

John started a new job the same week that lockdown was announced so he’s been on probation. We have been forced to live together through our separation although I don’t think he’s been as bothered about it as me. This week, John was told his probation has been extended for another three months. Not ideal […]

From Failure to Success

I used to be very judgemental of ‘celebrities’ who were married for five minutes then got divorced. ‘If you made a commitment, you should work through it together’ I’d say. Along with ‘marriage is for life.’ I still believe both of those things – even now whilst on the verge of divorce. I believed John […]

All Change Please

Around this time last year, I was speed walking to the bus at the station. As I reached the door, there coming towards me was a man with an incredible smile – tall, dark-skinned loveliness, gesturing for me to get on the bus ahead of him. I smiled, said ‘thank you’ and got on the […]

Money, Money, Money

For many years, I would (inwardly) describe John as ‘Del Boy’. For those of you not in the UK, he was a fictional character on a popular Eighties sitcom and, like Del Boy, John would always have a bright idea that was going to have the money ‘rolling in’. Usually, that meant I’d have to […]

Not Losing Myself

So, last year, after the nice evening and me agreeing to give it a go for a month – it then turned into a weird few days. It took until Thursday that week for me to feel like myself – my new self, of course. The rest of the week, I had been feeling agitated […]