This is my story. A story of surviving a relationship that made me lose sight of myself, my needs, my dreams. It's a story of love, disappointment and hope and one that I hope will inspire those that feel stuck in a toxic relationship to make a change.
It was a normal Saturday morning. I was collecting the washing to bring to the kitchen. John was barely talking to me but I wasn’t bothered. We got on with the usual stuff – my eldest went to her dance class, Little Miss II moaned about doing her homework. When Little Miss arrived back home, […]
Read More Pushed Aside – Quite LiterallyJohn had told me he would be working from the office today so I was looking forward to having the place to myself and some time to write. He didn’t go. Even worse? He had an online training session so was bellowing at the screen for several hours. So much for peace. As he finally […]
Read More ‘Me’ TimeThe next day I really felt the weight of it all. It was tough. My son had not been well, so he clambered into bed with me around 1.30am. I sent him back to bed after a little while (anyone with a three year old knows they can’t keep still). He reappeared just after 2am […]
Read More Heavy HeartIt was back in September last year that I decided to bite the bullet and speak to John. There was no point dragging it out – in fact it was unfair. It was a Sunday and he had come round early in the day to get some things for his photography job. When he got […]
Read More THAT CONVERSATIONJohn and I have a mutual friend. He started out as John’s friend but has been one of the few who ‘crossed over’ and made me his friend too when John and I married. This friend – let’s call him Mark – has listened to and advised both John and me. He doesn’t judge or […]
Read More FramilyJohn started a new job the same week that lockdown was announced so he’s been on probation. We have been forced to live together through our separation although I don’t think he’s been as bothered about it as me. This week, John was told his probation has been extended for another three months. Not ideal […]
Read More Taking ResponsibilityI went to see John the same evening after his operation. He looked so frail and I was so pleased he was ok. I didn’t stay long but he reminded me of a list of numbers he’d written that was on his desk at home – a list of people he wanted me to tell […]
Read More In Sickness and in Health: Part TwoWhat if all lives really mattered? I couldn’t allow the current crisis in the world to pass by without saying something, so you’ll have to forgive me going off topic – but it is necessary. The question above was the thought going through my head at 2.30am this morning. It was enough to get me […]
Read More WHAT IF…?Don’t ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn’t fall in love, I rose in it. I saw you and made up my mind. Toni Morrison – Jazz I had often dreamed of being rescued – of some man thinking I was worth it all and sweeping me off my feet. […]
Read More In Sickness and in Health? Part OneI used to be very judgemental of ‘celebrities’ who were married for five minutes then got divorced. ‘If you made a commitment, you should work through it together’ I’d say. Along with ‘marriage is for life.’ I still believe both of those things – even now whilst on the verge of divorce. I believed John […]
Read More From Failure to Success
This Can't Be Love 